Anger as an ally
Why is there so much social constriction around the idea of anger?
Why is there so much negativity around people who report harm — which is misshapen and misnamed as “making a complaint” or “rioting”?
Why is there so much disgust at people who cry and roar and demand and rail?
Is it because, in our anger, we are a force for change? Is it because our systems are calling us to defend our wellbeing, stand alongside others who are being harmed and take down that which would harm us? Is it because that would upset the applecart? What if the apples are rotten and we need to start again?
Biologically, anger is a call to action. It is a response to threat that tells us that something is wrong. It is a call to take a stand to make a difference. Anger is a challenge to a threat.
To a system predicated on preserving its own existence and privileging a few, anger itself becomes a threat.
When we are raised, we are taught that anger is shameful, harmful, to be avoided, swallowed, shut down, constricted, disavowed, deflected and disowned. We are literally trained to stand idle while we are being harmed, all in the service of not being seen as threatening or too much, too emotional, too wild.
When we disengage from the compliance that we have rote learned, the compliance that goes against our deepest instincts and protection mechanisms, the compliance that is like a clamp on the life-force that longs for us to be safe and vigorous, we find we have access to a vast and rich ecosystem of response and protection.
When we learn to join with anger in a way that means we are willing to cooperate with our anger rather than being subsumed by it or dominating it, then we can start to respond. Start to change. Start to Live.
It’s time for anger to become an ally.